Chapter 3: The Notebook Under Her Pillow
I didn't drive home immediately.
Instead, I pulled into the parking lot of a quiet public library.
Nia sat beside me, gripping the straps of her backpack.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?""
She shook her head.
"She's going to be angry.""
"Your mother?""
Nia nodded.
"Because of the notebook?""
Another nod.
I turned off the engine.
"Tell me what you're afraid she'll find.""
Nia stared through the windshield.
"She already found it.""
My stomach tightened.
"What was in it?""
"Things I wrote.""
"About what?""
She wiped her eyes.
"Food. School. Things Mom says. Things that happen when you're away.""
I took a breath.
"Did you write down dates?""
She nodded.
"Sometimes.""
"Can I see it?""
Nia hesitated.
Then she opened her backpack.
The pink notebook was inside.
Its front cover was bent, and several pages had come loose from the spiral binding.
She handed it to me.
I opened the first page.
The handwriting was small and careful.
September 8.
Mom said I couldn't have dinner because I didn't finish cleaning the kitchen. I had cereal before bed.
I turned the page.
September 14.
Caleb got pizza after soccer. I asked for a slice. Mom said I had already eaten enough at school.
Another page.
September 19.
Mom said I was ungrateful because Dad pays for everything and I still make problems.
My fingers tightened around the notebook.
There were more entries.
Some were only one sentence.
Others filled entire pages.
October 2.
I got an eighty-eight on my science test. Mom said it wasn't good enough because Ava got a ninety-six.
October 11.
I wanted to call Dad. Mom said he was in a meeting and I shouldn't disturb him.
October 23.
I ate crackers in the bathroom because everyone was watching television.
I stopped reading.
I looked at Nia.
"How long has this been happening?""
She shrugged.
"I don't know.""
"Months?""
"Longer.""
I turned another page.
November 4.
Mom said if Dad finds out I keep complaining, he might think I'm too difficult to live with.
My throat tightened.
I put the notebook down.
"Nia, has Vanessa ever threatened to send you away?""
Nia looked at her hands.
"She says I can live with Grandma if I don't like the rules.""
"Which grandmother?""
"Her mother.""
I knew exactly who she meant.
Evelyn Carter lived in Gastonia.
She was Vanessa's mother, a retired nurse who occasionally visited us.
I had always thought she was kind.
"Has she ever taken you there?""
"Not overnight.""
"Has she said she would?""
Nia nodded.
I leaned back.
The situation was worse than I had imagined.
But I didn't want to jump to conclusions based on a child's notebook alone.
I needed to understand what was happening, and I needed to protect Nia without turning this into a shouting match.
I took out my phone and photographed the notebook pages.
Then I put the notebook back into her backpack.
"We're going to talk to your school counselor," I said.
Nia looked frightened.
"Will they tell Mom?""
"We'll ask them about the proper steps. But nobody gets to punish you for asking for help.""
She nodded.
I started the car.
When we reached home, Vanessa was waiting in the living room.
Her arms were folded.
The pink notebook was on the coffee table.
My heart sank.
She had taken it from Nia's room.
"Where did you get that?"" I asked.
Vanessa pointed at the couch.
"Sit down.""
I remained standing.
"Why did you take her private notebook?""
"Because I found it hidden under her pillow.""
"That doesn't answer my question.""
Vanessa picked it up.
"Do you know what this is?""
"Yes.""
"It's a collection of lies.""
Nia stood behind me.
Vanessa looked directly at her.
"Tell your father why you wrote these things.""
Nia didn't answer.
"Go ahead," Vanessa insisted.
"Tell him.""
I stepped sideways, blocking her view.
"Don't interrogate her.""
Vanessa laughed.
"Interrogate? Marcus, she's been writing terrible things about me.""
"She's been writing about her experiences.""
"Her experiences? She's a child. She doesn't understand consequences.""
I looked at the notebook.
"Did you deny her dinner?""
"No.""
"Did you tell her she couldn't eat with the family?""
"Only when she misbehaved.""
"Did you tell her she could be sent to your mother's house?""
Vanessa's expression hardened.
"That's discipline.""
"Did you tell her I might stop loving her if she kept causing problems?""
Her mouth opened.
Then closed.
I waited.
Finally, she said, "I told her she needed to stop creating division in this family.""
"That's not what I asked.""
Vanessa threw the notebook onto the couch.
"You want the truth? I'm tired, Marcus. I'm exhausted from raising a child who constantly reminds everyone that she had another mother.""
Nia made a small sound behind me.
I turned.
Her eyes were fixed on the floor.
I felt something inside me crack.
"Vanessa," I said slowly, "don't ever say that to her again.""
"Why? It's true.""
"She lost her mother when she was four.""
"And I've spent eleven years trying to make this family work.""
"Then why does she feel like a stranger in it?""
Vanessa's cheeks flushed.
"Because you keep treating her differently!""
I stared at her.
"How?""
"You give her everything. You buy her things. You defend her whenever I try to correct her.
Ava and Caleb see it. They know she gets special treatment.""
I looked at my wife.
"She gets the same school tuition, the same clothes budget, the same opportunities. What special treatment are you talking about?""
Vanessa shook her head.
"You don't understand what happens when you're gone.""
"Then explain it.""
She pointed at Nia.
"She refuses to follow basic rules. She makes Ava cry. She tells Caleb that I'm not her real mother. She uses her dead mother to make me look cruel.""
Nia began crying.
"I never said that.""
Vanessa spun toward her.
"Don't lie!""
I raised my voice.
"Enough!""
The entire room went silent.
I turned toward Nia.
"Go upstairs, sweetheart.""
She looked at the notebook.
"Can I take it?""
"Yes.""
She picked it up.
As she passed Vanessa, my wife muttered something under her breath.
"Always playing the victim.""
Nia stopped.
I saw her shoulders rise.
Then she kept walking.
I waited until her bedroom door closed.
Then I faced Vanessa.
"You need to understand something. I am not going to ignore this.""
She gave a bitter laugh.
"You're threatening me?""
"No. I'm telling you what happens next.""
I pulled out my phone.
"Tomorrow, I'm arranging a meeting with her school counselor. I also want a pediatric appointment. I want to understand whether she's been getting enough food and whether her health has been affected.""
Vanessa stared at me.
"You're going to take my children to doctors because of a notebook?""
"I'm going to make sure my daughter is safe.""
"Your daughter," she repeated.
The same words.
Again.
I looked at her.
"Yes. My daughter. And she is part of this family.""
Vanessa walked toward the staircase.
"Then perhaps you should spend more time with her.""
I didn't respond.
That evening, I made dinner myself.
I cooked pasta, grilled chicken, and vegetables.
Ava helped set the table.
Caleb poured drinks.
Nia came downstairs wearing a gray sweater.
She sat beside me.
For once, nobody told her where she was allowed to sit.
Vanessa stayed upstairs.
After dinner, I helped Nia with her math homework.
She had trouble understanding fractions.
I sat beside her with a pencil.
"Okay," I said.
"Let's try this another way.""
She laughed when I made a ridiculous mistake.
For a few minutes, everything felt almost normal.
Then my phone vibrated.
A message from an unfamiliar number.
Marcus, this is Evelyn. Vanessa told me what happened. You need to hear my side before you make a terrible mistake.
I stared at the screen.
A second message arrived.
There are reasons Nia behaves this way. I have photographs and records that Vanessa hasn't shown you.
I looked upstairs.
Then back at my daughter.
"What is it, Dad?"" Nia asked.
I locked my phone.
"Nothing you need to worry about tonight.""
May you like
But I was already wondering what Evelyn knew.
And why she had waited until now to tell me.
