Chapter 8: The Deal They Made Without Me
I looked at Ryan’s message again.
Then at Emma.
Then back at the phone.
A strange calm came over me.
Not because I wasn’t angry.
I was.
But anger had been replaced by something else.
Clarity.
For the first time in days, I stopped trying to defend the person I thought Emma was.
I stopped trying to explain Lauren’s behavior.
I stopped searching for excuses.
I simply wanted the truth.
“What did you and Lauren do?””
Emma’s face changed.
“What?””
“After you found out Ryan was coming back.””
She looked away.
“I don’t know what he told you.””
“That’s not an answer.””
“James—”
“No.””
I held up the phone.
“Every time I ask a question, you tell me what you were afraid of. You tell me what you felt. You tell me why you made a mistake.””
I took a breath.
“But you never tell me what happened.””
Emma sat down slowly.
“I didn’t want this.””
“I know.””
“I never wanted to hurt you.””
“I know.””
“Then believe me.””
I stared at her.
“I want to.””
The honesty surprised her.
“But wanting to believe you and being able to are two different things.””
She looked down.
The phone buzzed again.
Another message from Ryan.
*Ryan: I know you probably hate me. I understand why. But you deserve to know what happened.*
I showed it to Emma.
She looked nervous.
“Don’t talk to him.””
“Why?””
“Because he’s trying to destroy us.””
I studied her face.
“Is he?””
She didn’t answer.
That was enough.
I opened the message.
I typed:
*Me: Tell me everything.*
The reply came almost immediately.
*Ryan: Ask Emma about the night she and Lauren came to my apartment.*
My heart stopped.
I looked up.
“Emma.””
She closed her eyes.
“You talked to him.””
It wasn’t a question.
Emma whispered:
“Yes.””
“When?””
“Before we moved in together.””
“How long before?””
She didn’t answer.
“Emma.””
“Three weeks.””
Three weeks.
Three weeks before she moved her things into my house.
Three weeks before we started talking about our future.
Three weeks before I gave her a key and told her she had a home.
“You went to his apartment?””
“Yes.””
“With Lauren?””
“Yes.””
“Why?””
Emma’s eyes filled with tears.
“Because Lauren wanted answers.””
I laughed quietly.
“Answers about what?””
“About whether Ryan had changed.””
I stared at her.
“You went to your ex-boyfriend to see if he had changed?””
“No.””
“Then what?””
She looked away.
“Lauren wanted to know if he was still angry.””
“Why?””
Emma was silent.
I stood up.
“Why would Lauren care if Ryan was angry?””
She whispered:
“Because she knew something.””
“What?””
Emma looked at me.
“She knew Ryan blamed you.””
I froze.
“Blamed me for what?””
She didn’t speak.
“Emma.””
Her voice was barely audible.
“For losing me.””
I shook my head.
“That doesn’t make sense.””
“It does to him.””
I waited.
“He thought if he had never lost me, I never would have met you.””
I stared at her.
“So Ryan hated me because I existed?””
“Yes.””
“And Lauren knew?””
“Yes.””
“Then why did she keep talking to him?””
Emma looked down.
“Because she wanted to know if he could help.””
The words hit me.
“Help with what?””
She didn’t answer.
She didn’t have to.
I already knew.
But I needed her to say it.
“Help with me.””
Emma’s eyes filled with tears.
“Yes.””
I walked away.
I couldn’t stay still.
The idea that three people had been discussing my life like a project made me feel sick.
“Tell me exactly what happened.””
Emma wiped her face.
“Lauren thought I was making a mistake choosing you.””
“Because of Ryan?””
“Because of everything.””
“Everything meaning my house?””
She flinched.
“Yes.””
I nodded.
“Keep going.””
Emma took a deep breath.
“Lauren believed Ryan knew how to convince me to leave.””
I looked at her.
“And did he?””
“No.””
The answer came quickly.
Too quickly.
“No?””
“No.””
“Then why did you meet him?””
“Because Lauren wanted me to see that he wasn’t the same person.””
I stared at her.
“And what did you see?””
Emma looked ashamed.
“That he was.””
That surprised me.
“What?””
“He hadn’t changed.””
I sat back down.
“So you met him, realized he was still terrible, and then what?””
“I left.””
“And told me?””
“No.””
I closed my eyes.
“Of course not.””
“I was embarrassed.””
“Embarrassed?””
“Yes.””
“Emma, you met your ex behind my back.””
“I know.””
“You let your best friend interfere in our relationship.””
“I know.””
“You hid it.””
“I know.””
I looked at her.
“Do you understand why I can’t just move past this?””
“Yes.””
“Do you?””
“Yes.””
Her voice broke.
“Because you weren’t fighting against one mistake.””
She looked at me.
“You were fighting against a whole version of my life I kept hidden from you.””
That was the first thing she said that felt completely honest.
I didn’t respond.
Because she was right.
The problem wasn’t one conversation.
One lie.
One bad decision.
It was a pattern.
Then my phone buzzed.
Ryan.
*Ryan: Did she tell you about the money?*
I looked at the message.
Emma saw my face.
“What?””
I turned the phone toward her.
The color disappeared from her face.
“What money?””
I looked at her.
“You tell me.””
She stood up.
“James, it’s not what you think.””
“That sentence has never made anyone feel better.””
She covered her mouth.
“Ryan is lying.””
“About what?””
“He’s trying to make me look bad.””
“About what?””
She didn’t answer.
I waited.
Finally:
“The money was from before.””
“Before what?””
“Before you.””
“How much?””
Emma looked away.
“Emma.””
“Twenty thousand.””
The room went silent.
“Twenty thousand dollars?””
“Yes.””
“Where did it go?””
Her eyes filled with tears.
“I helped him.””
I felt my chest tighten.
“You helped him?””
“He said he needed it.””
“After he cheated on you?””
“Yes.””
“And you gave him money?””
“I thought he was going to pay it back.””
I stared at her.
“Did he?””
“No.””
I laughed softly.
Not because it was funny.
Because I didn’t know what else to do.
“So while you were making lists about protecting yourself from me, you were still protecting him?””
“No.””
“Emma.””
“I didn’t know how to admit it.””
“You didn’t know how to admit you gave your ex twenty thousand dollars?””
“Yes.””
I looked at the floor.
Suddenly, I understood something.
Emma wasn’t just afraid of being hurt.
She was afraid of facing her own choices.
And instead of facing them, she built walls around herself.
Then she built walls around me.
My phone buzzed again.
Ryan.
This time, it was a photo.
I opened it.
A screenshot.
A conversation.
Between Ryan and Lauren.
The date was from six months earlier.
Six months.
The same time Lauren had been asking Emma about my house.
I read the first line.
And my blood went cold.
*Lauren: If Emma leaves him, she needs a reason that doesn’t make her look like the bad person.*
I kept reading.
*Ryan: I told you. She just needs to remember who she was before him.*
Then another message.
*Lauren: The house is the problem. If she walks away with nothing, she’ll regret it.*
My hands started shaking.
But the final message was the one that made everything stop.
It was from Lauren.
*Lauren: We don’t need James to love her forever. We just need him to trust her long enough.*
I looked at Emma.
She was watching my face.
She knew.
She knew what I had seen.
“What does that mean?”” I asked.
Her lips trembled.
“James…”
“What does that mean?””
She didn’t answer.
Then my phone buzzed one more time.
A final message from Ryan.
*Ryan: Ask Emma why Lauren wanted you to propose before she left.*
I looked up.
“What?””
Emma went completely still.
And in that moment, I knew.
There was a plan I still didn’t know about.
A plan that involved my house.
My future.
May you like
And a question I had never considered.
Why would someone want me to commit more deeply to them right before they walked away?
