Chapter 4: The Year Before Me
I kept staring at the paper on Claire’s phone.
My name.
A name I had written thousands of times.
On bills.
On school forms.
On birthday cards.
On the paperwork for the house we bought together.
But seeing it there, attached to a hospital record from before I even knew Claire existed, felt like looking at a stranger wearing my face.
“What happened the year before we met?””
My voice sounded different.
Lower.
Like some part of me already knew the answer was going to hurt.
Claire didn’t respond.
She just sat there with both hands wrapped around the phone.
“Claire.””
She looked up.
“I never wanted you to find out like this.””
“That’s not an answer.””
“I know.””
“Then give me one.””
She swallowed.
“I met you six months after Lily was born.””
I nodded slowly.
“I know.””
“You think you know.””
The words made my stomach tighten.
“What does that mean?””
She looked toward the staircase again.
Making sure the kids couldn’t hear.
Then she whispered:
“It means there are things about that time that I never told you.””
I pulled out the chair.
“Start.””
Claire looked down at the table.
“When I was pregnant with Lily, Marcus and I were already falling apart.””
“You said that.””
“I didn’t tell you why.””
I waited.
“He found out I had been talking to someone else.””
The room went quiet.
I looked at her.
“Someone else?””
She nodded.
“Before Lily was born.””
I felt something shift inside me.
Not anger.
Not yet.
Confusion.
Because Claire was talking about a past I had never been part of.
A version of her I didn’t know.
“Who?””
She looked at me.
And for a second, she didn’t speak.
Then she said:
“Dwayne.””
My entire body went still.
“What?””
She looked away.
“You.””
The word barely came out.
“No.””
“Yes.””
“Claire.””
“I’m sorry.””
I stood up.
“No.””
My chair scraped against the floor.
“No, you’re going to explain that because right now I feel like I’m missing ten years of my own life.””
She nodded.
“I know.””
“You’re telling me I knew you before we met?””
“Yes.””
“How?””
She took a shaky breath.
“We worked at the same company.””
I stared at her.
“What company?””
She named it.
A place I remembered.
A job I had right after college.
A job I hated.
A job where I worked late nights and barely spoke to anyone outside my department.
“I never saw you.””
She gave a sad smile.
“You did.””
“No.””
“Yes.””
“When?””
“Almost every day.””
My mind raced.
I searched through old memories.
Faces.
Names.
Coffee breaks.
Meetings.
But nothing.
Nothing connected.
“How?””
“Because I wasn’t the Claire you know.””
“What does that mean?””
“It means I was quiet.””
She looked at the phone.
“I was scared of everyone.””
The pieces started moving.
Not fitting.
Just moving.
“You knew Marcus was angry.””
“Yes.””
“You knew he was controlling.””
“Yes.””
“And you were pregnant.””
“Yes.””
“And I was there?””
She nodded.
“You were the only person who noticed something was wrong.””
I stared at her.
“What did I do?””
She smiled faintly.
“You brought me coffee.””
“That’s it?””
“No.””
Her eyes filled with tears.
“You asked if I was okay.””
I didn’t know what to say.
Because that sounded like something I would do.
Something small.
Something meaningless to me.
But maybe not to someone else.
“You don’t remember,” she said.
“No.””
“I knew you wouldn’t.””
“Why?””
“Because you weren’t trying to be a hero.””
The kitchen became quiet.
“I was just being kind.””
“Yes.””
“And then?””
Claire looked down.
“Then Marcus found out I had someone at work who cared.””
“Me?””
“Yes.””
“What happened?””
“He accused me of cheating.””
“Were you?””
She closed her eyes.
“No.””
I believed her.
Not because I was ignoring the possibility.
Because I knew her.
Or at least I thought I did.
“Then why did Marcus think I was Lily’s father?””
Claire’s face changed.
And I knew there was more.
“There was one night.””
“What night?””
“The night everything fell apart.””
Rain hit the window harder.
I leaned forward.
“Tell me.””
Claire’s fingers tightened around her phone.
“Marcus and I had a huge fight.””
“About me?””
“Yes.””
“What happened?””
“He left.””
“Left where?””
“I don’t know.””
“Claire.””
“He disappeared for two days.””
I frowned.
“And?””
“And I went into labor.””
The room felt colder.
“You gave birth alone?””
“No.””
Her voice cracked.
“I thought I was alone.””
I didn’t move.
“Claire.””
“The hospital called him because he was listed as the father.””
“But he wasn’t there?””
“No.””
“Then who was?””
She looked directly at me.
“You.””
I froze.
“What?””
“You came to the hospital.””
“I never went to the hospital.””
“Yes, you did.””
“No.””
“I remember.””
I shook my head.
“Claire, I would remember something like that.””
“You were there.””
“Why?””
“Because I called you.””
I stared.
“You called me?””
“Yes.””
“When?””
“The night I was in labor.””
My mind went blank.
I had no memory.
No image.
No sound.
Nothing.
“That’s impossible.””
“I know how it sounds.””
“Because it’s impossible.””
Claire reached for her phone.
“I kept this because I knew someday you might need proof.””
She opened an old folder.
A picture appeared.
A hospital room.
A woman holding a newborn baby.
Claire.
Younger.
Exhausted.
And standing beside the bed…
Me.
I stopped breathing.
I moved closer.
The photo was old.
Grainy.
But there was no mistake.
That was me.
“You don’t remember?””
I shook my head slowly.
“No.””
Claire whispered:
“You were hit by a car three weeks later.””
My eyes moved to her.
“What?””
“You don’t remember because you had a concussion.””
I stared at the photo.
A memory flickered.
A hospital smell.
A bright light.
Someone crying.
Then nothing.
“You told me you didn’t remember parts of that year.””
“I thought it was because of the accident.””
“It was.””
I looked back at the photo.
“Why didn’t you tell me?””
Claire looked broken.
“Because when you woke up, you didn’t remember me.””
The words landed harder than anything else.
“You didn’t know who I was.””
I swallowed.
“So you just… left?””
“I tried to tell you.””
“And?””
“And then Marcus came back.””
“Why?””
“Because he knew something had happened.””
“What?””
Claire hesitated.
“He knew Lily wasn’t his.””
My chest tightened.
“And he knew about me?””
“Yes.””
“Then why did he let me forget?””
She looked at the floor.
“Because he made a deal with me.””
“What deal?””
“He would sign the birth certificate.””
I stared.
“And?””
“And he would stay away from you.””
The kitchen was silent.
I couldn’t understand.
“Why would he do that?””
Claire’s voice dropped.
“Because he was angry.””
“At me?””
“No.””
She looked toward the stairs.
“At Lily.””
My blood ran cold.
“He said if he couldn’t have control over me…”
She stopped.
“Finish the sentence.””
Her eyes filled with tears.
“He said nobody would.””
I felt my hands curl into fists.
For years, I thought Marcus was a man who left.
Now I wondered if he was a man who had been waiting.
Waiting for the right moment.
Waiting to destroy something.
“Why now?”” I asked.
Claire didn’t answer.
Then her phone buzzed again.
This time, neither of us wanted to look.
But we did.
A new message.
From Marcus.
One sentence.
*I’m not asking for Lily back. I’m asking for the truth about what Claire did to both of us.*
I looked at Claire.
Her face had gone pale.
Because there was one part of the story she still hadn’t told me.
May you like
And somehow…
I knew it involved Isaiah.
